The Biggest Myth of Early Motherhood

When you are pregnant and preparing to have a baby, it's quite hard to see past Labour.  Yes, I did capitalise that word on purpose and no, I do not mean the centre-left political party that are the current Opposition in New Zealand government.  It's Labour with a capital L because it's so momentous.  In fact it really should be Labour with a capital L A B O U R but that's too fiddly to type repeatedly, so just the L will suffice today.  You are struck with the idea that you will never attempt anything more momentous or challenging in your entire existence.  Life will continue to provide you with other challenges, some which you will prepare for and work towards, others out of the blue that you just have to stump up and manage, but nothing, nothing will be as big as the physical act of bringing a new life into the world.  While you are also trying to prepare yourself for life after Labour, you know you actually can't comprehend what this will be so there's only so much time you can dedicate to this aim.

I am someone who is pretty realistic and philosophical about the big stuff.  I don't tend to sweat things out or worry about infinite possibilities of 'What Might Go Wrong'.  I just don't see the point when so much of it is out of your control.  When I was pregnant, my sister, sister-in-law, and bestie had all recently had children plus a few others in my circle of friends and acquaintances so I knew a wee bit about expecting the unexpected.  I had those 'spin out' moments that everyone gets where it suddenly hits you that 'Woah, there's going to be a baby in that room soon', or 'This could be the last time I go to the movies for quite some time' but they didn't worry me, nor did I kid myself that I was in anyway prepared for what having a little person relying on me would be like.
On the flip side, I'm hardly a 'head in the sand' kinda gal either.  I like to be informed, I like to make educated choices.  I made sure I had the information I felt I needed to make the best decisions for Phil, Edie & I regarding Labour and early days.  I cannot express just how lucky I was to have the most amazing midwife who is the master of informing and educating without judging - a true and rare skill in the medical world.
In summary, I was relaxed about Labour, and impending motherhood, but not without some vague idea of what I was getting myself into.

One of the things I had made a definite decision about for life post Labour was that I wanted to give breast feeding a go.  I understood that some people weren't able to breast feed for a whole host of reasons.  I also felt that some people copped out of it for a whole host of reasons.  Controversial, I know, but it's undeniable that some people have different tolerances for difficult situations.  Some people endure despite huge odds, and others get off the bus at the first stop in Tricky Town.  Let me be clear, in no way did I, or do I think, that people who don't breastfeed their babies are flakes.  I do think that human nature creates differing abilities in each of us to cope with adversity.  Both extremes on this scale are as flawed as each other.

And so we (finally) come to my point.  Breastfeeding is widely known to be the optimal source of nutrition for your baby for a long list of reasons.  It is heavily promoted and people encouraged to try breastfeeding as the first response when they have their babies.  It is portrayed as the most beautiful, natural, and wonderful thing that can happen between a mother and child.
But here's what they neglect to tell you:
Breast feeding is FUCKING.  HARD.  WORK.
All you ladies out there who are up the duff, heed my words.  FUCKING.  HARD.  WORK.

Now I know why when people promote breast feeding they don't tell you this.  There is a lot of negative (some of it frankly ridiculous) press about breast feeding and the people who support breast feeding.  Women who breast feed in public have been decried as perverts who need to keep their norks to themselves.  The people who are pro-breast feeding have been labelled militant hippies who turn their noses up at those who don't breast feed.
So when you are trying to show people that breast feeding is good, having the tag line "Breast Feeding: It's Fucking Hard Work" probably isn't going to be a winner.
But as a woman who was (and still firmly is) pro-breast feeding, I would have appreciated some more realistic information before I hit the wall.  I don't think that trawling the internet for horror stories is a valid source of said information either.  I simply wish that someone with a brain, who was neither a militant breastfeeder, nor a wounded anti-breastfeeder, had sat me down and shared their point of view. Someone who wanted to support me in my desire to breastfeed, but who had an appreciation for the fact that my choice may be a difficult one.  Maybe they tried and I didn't listen.  There are so many people giving you tips and advice it can be hard to see the wood for the trees.  But I wish I'd had or had listened to a person like that.

I hope I might be that person for someone out there reading this post.  So if you are pregnant or ever plan to be, or if you are or plan to be the partner of someone who has a baby let me give you a heads up (I have mentioned the "hard work" part but let me elaborate):
- Most women struggle with some part of breast feeding.  Why no one tells you this until you are having problems is beyond me.  I mean it, nearly every woman has some issue they have to overcome.  The ones who say "Oh it's so wonderful" are probably the most concerning of all.  And need a good slap with a cold fish.  So...
- If you find it challenging, stressful, or overwhelming, this is more than OK, this is normal.
- It turns out you have to learn how to feed, but so does your baby, and oddly enough you can't sit down with them over a cup of tea and talk it out then sit a wee exam together and share your test scores at the end.
- It may take weeks or months to sort it out.  It's like Pantene, it won't happen overnight but it will happen.  Don't kid yourself into thinking that it's all the first week that's terrible and then it'll be fine.  It may work like that, but it might not.  Don't think you are a freak because at 10 weeks you still feel unsure about feeding in public because of the rigmarole required to get you and your baby settled in for a feed (hello 5 pillows at specific angles).
- It seems so crazy that after millions of years of evolution, we can find something so primal so difficult.  I don't pretend to know why we are so inefficient, I just want to tell you that it's not you that's inefficient, it's us as a species!  It's not personal, you are fine, you are fabulous, but humanity is flawed.

So, when you see those lovely photos of women and babies feeding and you look on with wonder and awe thinking "that will be me!", remember that it will be you, but there is possibly a lot of fucking. hard. work that has to happen first.  Those women you see in the cafe or at the park just feeding while supervising 2 other kids, drinking a coffee, and holding a conversation all at the same time?  They probably put in a lot of fucking. hard. work.

It really is a wonderful and natural thing, I promise.  If you can do it, you won't regret it.  But go in prepared to have some lows before the highs.

Edie's first feed.  See?  Lovely!  It all turned pear shaped after this but surprisingly I didn't take a lot of photos of that...

Cool Shit Monday: Kiddy Kool

Not all of you have kids so I have avoided putting too many child-related items into CSM.  Just the odd sprinkle here and there.  But the reality is, I do have a kid and so I can't help but find cool shit that is kiddy-centric.  So today I am indulging the mummy shopaholic in me and showing you some Kiddy Kool.  If you don't have a kid, you could just peruse the items, appreciate their cuteness, then purge them from your memory as useless trinkets.  Or perhaps you could use some of this on pets or sprogs of people you know.  If you do have sprogs, prepare to get your wallets ready and your 'awww' faces prepped.

Lou Clifton is a Dunedin lass who has been designing and making children's shoes for several years under the banner, Lou's Shoes.  She has always made totally fantastic shoes but she recently took a break from her children's line to go to Australia and develop her shoemaking skills.  She went and worked with a variety of bespoke shoemakers and came home to Dunedin with an adult shoe range in her sights.  I'm not sure if she's released the big people shoes yet, but she has released a new line of kiddies shoes and they are to. die. for.  If the adults shoes are anywhere near as cool as her baby shoes, I'll be looking at some serious shoe-debt.  In the mean time, I am just trying to decide what shoes need to make it into Edie's wardrobe.

I think these Pierrot ones will be on the shopping list

Another lovely Dunedin lady showing her talents is Rachel Owen.  After Rachel had her son, she asked her mother to teach her all her crafty secrets.  She passed over quilting, decided knitting wasn't for her, but crochet was just her cup of tea and away she went.  Once she'd crocheted entire wardrobes of clothes for her own child, she decided it was probably time to share the love and started to sell her creations.  And so Kid Lidz was born.  Edie was lucky enough to be given one such creation for her first birthday - an owl hat - and we get so many comments about it.  And you no-kiddy people are in luck.  She makes them in big people sizes too...

Edie jazzed to have an owl on her head.

Well this is turning into a Dunedin love-fest as I'm now about to rave on about Helen Riley-Duddin who is the brains behind Tinch Design.  She designs restickable wallscapes for kidlets (and big people too).  Now this idea is not new.  When I went to decorate Edie's room before she arrived, I found a bizillion cute wall stickies I could have put on her wall.  In the end, I chose two different designs that were not Helen's work.  They're cute.  I like them.  But Helen's are cool so I was stoked when Harriet gave us one after Edie was born. What makes them different?  She uses upcycled textiles (mainly wallpaper and fabric) to make them so they just look... funky.  Helen describes them as "half way between play and art" and the lady knows what she is talking about.  Plus on a practical note, they are restickable.  Really.  Not like those stickers that stuck ok at first but after you moved them, seemed to attract fluff from your carpet, your cat, and the back of the refrigerator, and have started to peel off the wall.  But if you were still worried about the fluff, you can get magnetic backing instead.  You'd happily have them on the walls of your house, unlike massive Dora or Spiderman decals that I would begrudgingly accept if Edie really wanted them and they would certainly not appear in any non-kiddy-zone room.  They have become my new 'go to gift'.

Edie's wallscape.  Edie points to it and says, "hooo! hooo!"

And just to prove this isn't all about Dunedin, here is one of my favourite online kiddy stores - Frugi.  There is so much to love about this stuff.  It's organic, it's ethical, it's made with cloth nappy bums in mind (they're fat and therefore can be tricky to fit into normal trousers in case you were wondering), and it's totally cute.  The people are awesome too, which helps.  They have such a cool wee community going (they call it Planet Frugi) and they truly seem to 'get it' - they are in touch with their customers who they treat more like friends than dollar signs, and they truly love their product.  They do ship to New Zealand (postage is usually around 12 pound) so there's no stopping you.  Or at least there's no stopping me as Phil can attest to.  But Edie clearly needs cute stuff to match her own cuteness.

So there you have it peeps - some of the kiddy stuff I've been fixating on.  The list is long however so I may need to slip the odd bit of kiddy kool into other posts but I'm sure you'll forgive me.  After all, we'd all like a wolf t-shirt and white leather pom pom boots at heart.

PS.  You can get the Tinch designs and Kid Lidz at Miracle (of this post) but I wrote about them because I think they're truly cool, not to be a cheer leader for that business.  It is, however, no coincidence that Miracle stocks cool shit.

WTFF: Patriotic Pretty

It's taken me the better part of a week to get this post to you but I couldn't let it slide.  I'm committed to the frock and I am gathering a loyal following of fellow frockers who I need to pay tribute to.  So late or not, here's Friday's frock.

I have absolutely no claim to any American heritage or anything to do with America.  The best I can say is that I've been there a couple of times and I have a couple of good friends who are American or live in the States.  Oh, and I LOVE Disneyland.  Actually the happiest place on earth.  But I am always up for a good party and you've got to celebrate when the chance is offered.  The chance was offered this week with Independence Day, so my frock this week says, "Hooray for America and Independence".  Just because it's fun and I can.  And you can say all the bad stuff you like about America, but they sure know how to do a good party.

I tried to further the party spirit by hosting an afternoon tea for my Mummy group.  I decided to be the Frock Police and insist that my guests wear a frock.  My ladies really came to the party.  In every sense.      It was a frock success - we all looked gaw-jus and there were more than a few remarks made about how comfy a dress actually is.  See, frocks aren't just impractical fluff.

My ladies rockin' their frocks.  Floral was the order of the day!

My Nana bought me this dress not long after I became pregnant.  I don't know if she really intended it as a maternity dress, I don't think she did, and it's just as well as I don't think I wore it once when I was pregnant.  It's so voluminous, it just made me look like the main attraction inside the big top.  But now that I'm not knocked up, I really like the fullness of it.  It's quite sheer so I have to wear a slip with it.  I mostly wear this dress with something to draw it in at the waist, but when I really feel like indulging my Peter Pan complex, I wear it without.  I don't know if the photos capture it, but there is a silver stripe that runs through it which is rather lovely.  Also it has buttons down the bodice so I can breastfeed in it without having to undress myself (something I have actually done in order to wear some of my other dresses).  And it has pockets - SOLD.

Today I wore it with a cardi I bought in Balmain in Sydney.  It's a summery cardi really: it's cotton, it has 3/4 sleeves... but it's about the only blue thing I own that could be used for my Independence Day theme.  And it's such a happy blue (if there can be such a thing) that I couldn't resist.

The 'belt' is a hair ribbon.  The hair ribbon used to be on a present.  So it's a bit of wrapping really but I loved the stripes so I kept it.  Again, it fit nicely with my theme.  I only wished it was it a little wider so it made more of an impact.

The shoes were a last minute buy from Overland on the day of my brother's wedding.  I had an outfit all planned of course but I wasn't really happy with the shoes.  I bought these and changed the rest of the outfit to match.  I love the ruffle detail on the toe and the wedge heel.  You might think that the wedge makes these shoes comfy, but it doesn't.  It's a commonly held myth that heel height and width is the crux when it comes to comfy shoes but it's all about physics - weight distribution, angles... these don't tick the physics box but they do look lovely.

The earrings and the ring were also a wedding number, this time my sister's.  I was her only bridesmaid so was given free reign on outfit choice, just make it some sort of red.  I wore a beautiful top and skirt combo and these were the accessories.  I do love a good bit of red.  It suits me well as long as I don't have a face full of zits to match.  Too much information?  Sorry.  We (Mum and I) got this jewellery at Flying Saucer which used to be at Shore City Mall in Takapuna and Auckland Airport but I have a feeling they've closed.  Sad as they used to have interesting things.

Slap a hint of red lippy on there, and there you have it, America the brave!  Alternatively, it's now close enough to Bastille Day that I could say Vive la France instead.  You choose.

On Friday Edie wore a gorgeous little corduroy smock from Boden that she has worn a lot and I just love it.  Aunty Natalie helped me pick this one as there was so much cuteness to choose from, I was overwhelmed.  I love that it has so many colours in it so it's easy to accessorise.  I'm not sure which nation sports all those colours though so she's not in on the patriotic theme.  On Friday Edie wore the dress with a organic cotton onesie from Frugi, Marks & Spencer tights, and her See Kai Run Smaller boots that were bought from Miracle to match her glasses of course!

Favourite job: 'loading' the dishwasher

Added bonus: icing from the beater.

And this is what happens when mummies leave their babies for 1 minute to pose for a photo.  Baby chaos!

It's Not What You Say...

Last week I took Edie to a gym.  I thought it was about time she learned to do dead lifts etc.  Seriously though folks, I mean I took her to a gymnastics centre.  We went with some friends and their babies who are all around Edie's age.  It was seriously cool in many ways.  Firstly, there was all the equipment that you'd hope for - bars, beams, spring boards, large mats... all the things that just make you want to go nuts and jump around like you're 7 years old.  Secondly, it was freezing.  Totally, bone-chillingly icy.  It was a cold day in Dunedin (I know, shock horror) and of course the gym was in this large warehouse space.  They had made a token attempt to heat it by putting in these tiny bar heaters.  Unfortunately, they were on the ceiling (apparently they had skipped the "heat rises" lesson at school) and there were about 4 of them for the entire cavernous space.  I stupidly didn't think about the fact that I would have to take my street shoes off inside and only wore stockings so my feet quickly lost all feeling and turned to ice.  I left Edie in her wooly hat and jacket the whole hour she played there and even then her little hands were purple.  This was just the beginning of the gymnastics experience for me.  Not all of it was cool.
As a stereotype, little girls seemed to do one of 3 activities when I was young.  All little girls may or may not have done other sports and extra-curricular activities, but these 3 were the staple: gym, ballet (or dance of some sort), and horse-riding.  The horse riders were the privileged few, the lucky ones whose parents had the money or the resources at hand to allow them to attend gymkhanas and brush manes.  To be honest, they seemed a bit 'horse mad' to me but perhaps this was because I was just jealous.  So the rest of the young female population fell into the other two categories: gym and dance.  These two did not seem to be activities that were able to be combined.  No one ever seemed to do both.  You could do dancing and soccer, or gym and brownies, but you could not do gym and dancing.  I have no idea why this was.  It was like the Sharks and the Jets.  Gym girls didn't mix with dance girls.  Anyway, I was a dance girl and so the closest I ever came to doing gymnastics was at PE, and watching Nikki Jenkins win a gold medal at the Commonwealth Games in 1987.  In fact, my whole perception of the gymnastics scene is founded on what I know from the Olympics, Commonwealth Games, and 60 Minutes-type exposes of extreme coaching techniques employed in the sport.

So the fact that this gym was freezing cold encouraged my perception of hard-nosed training methods where you had to suck it up to survive.  This idea was only encouraged by what happened through the rest of Edie's hour of gymnastics.

We were greeted by the lady running the session in a friendly if slightly direct manner.  We let the kids loose on the age-appropriate equipment she had set up.  There were a few other kids of various ages and their Mums, all doing their own thing.  After about 5 minutes, some child-friendly music started.  After about 15 minutes a particular song started at which time the gym coach produced some colourful scarves to wave around at appropriate moments during the song.  She encouraged us to grab the scarves and our children and join in.
If you know me, you know I'm not a wall flower.  When I was about 14 I think I found my mother mortifyingly embarrassing (who didn't at that age?) because she would always jump up for "audience participation".  If someone needed a person to join in, clap along, read out loud etc., Mum would step up.  At 14, Edie is sure to be embarrassed by me because I am now exactly the same.  I am quite happy to save someone from being left in the lurch and join in where necessary.  I find that if you start, others will eventually join in and a better time is had by all.  It depends on the circumstances of course, but you get the general idea.
And so naturally I picked up a scarf and began waving it according to the directions of the song and the gym coach.  Happily, my friends were just as quick to scarf-wave as I so we were united in our lunacy.  Some of the other adults had struck up a conversation elsewhere and the gym lady encouraged them to join in.  Firstly, she just called out for them to come and get a scarf.  But the more they ignored her, the more insistent she became.  I think the words "Pick up your children and bring them over here!!" were uttered in what I thought was a oddly insistent tone.
At this stage, I was thinking the gym lady was beginning to fill some of my other ideas about going to gymnastics.  First freezing cold gymnasiums, now implacable coaches...  This idea was cemented when she turned her ire on me.
I had offered several scarves to Edie but she was happy just to watch Mummy lummox around.  I can't blame her.  Here I was waving my scarf up high, touching the ground, waving it left, waving it right, and other tuneful actions as per the ditty.  I was committed but I was not committed enough for Gym Lady.  She turns to me, waving her scarf at Edie and snaps, "PUT A SCARF IN HER HAND".  I don't take kindly to being snapped at so I promptly told her that I had tried but I couldn't force my 1 year old to hold onto something she didn't want to.  She didn't mention it again but it was clear I was not winning any Top Mum awards in her book.
From then on I thought of the the gym lady as the Gym Nazi.  I have to say, she tried hard with the kids, making her way round each of them and encouraging them to try out the equipment.  But she was bossy with the adults.  She treated us like we were also 7 years old and needed 'a good firm hand'.  I was left with mixed feelings about the experience.  I appreciate that when you are trying to get a group of adults, possibly strangers, to join in an activity, you need to be proactive and encourage people to get involved to make the experience they're paying for worth their while.  The message that she was trying to convey made perfect sense.  But it was how she said it that rubbed me up the wrong way.  And it wasn't just me getting a bit pouty for being told off, my friends noticed her tone as well.

I managed to force a stick into her hand though...

I seem to come across this a lot.  Not Gym Nazis, I haven't met many of those.  I mean people who are bemused that others don't see things their way or won't do what they say.  It would seem that the ability to couch questions or directions in an tactful way is rare.  When people go into a store and launch into a tirade of vitriol at a staff member, do they really think that the person they're yelling at is going to go out of their way to help correct any mistake that's been made?  When someone feels they have been promised something at work that they have not received, do they honestly think the best way to remedy this is to approach the powers that be with a barrage of aggressive questions?  Don't get me wrong, I am the first to say that there are times when you need to resort to more drastic measures, but going straight for the jugular is like shaving all your hair off just because you don't like your hair cut - it's probably not in your best interests and you've skipped about 5 steps between.

I think it comes down to empathy and the ability to see potential outcomes from one's actions.  People need to be able to see things from a variety of perspectives to be able to anticipate what the result of their actions might be.  If the Gym Nazi had understood that her tone and wording made her reasonable requests sound demanding and patronising, I'm sure she would have been mortified.  Conversely, if I had just understood that I needed to give my child the freaking scarf, she wouldn't have had to yell at me.

What I'm really saying is think about how you talk to other people as it effects the way they'll talk back to you.  I clearly need to look at this myself when I next meet the Gym Nazi.  I'll make sure I have an extra scarf and a friendly smile.

Top 5 Floor Filth: Why I Need to Vacuum Every Day

It's no secret that I am not a neat freak.  Most people seem to emerge from their teenage years of filth and squalor with a newly acquired need for cleanliness.  This level of this need varies from person to person but it for some reason it often seems that females are more needy in this sense - they require a level of 'clean and tidy' - a Level of Cleanliness - to feel comfortable that exceeds that of their male counterparts.  This Level increases with certain milestones in one's life, for example, when you buy your first house.  There's something about suddenly being financially wholly responsible for a property that makes a person want to keep it spick and span.  Another Level changer seems to be having a child.  Suddenly you're aware that your pride and joy can't be rolling round in what might previously have been an acceptable Level of mess.  The sad oxymoron to this is that the child creates whole new layers of mess and dirt that you suddenly have lower tolerance for.
It has been the subject of much envy and conversation amongst my friends that I struck it lucky with Phil.  Not only is he neat and clean-aware, he is proactive and requires things to be tidy before he can relax.  I don't think blokes really talk about this sort of thing, but if they did, Phil would experience the opposite reaction from his mates - they would feel sorry for him that he ended up with a wife who is, honestly, a crap housekeeper and who leaves the majority of the housework to him.  It's not that I don't have any Level of Cleanliness and I want to sit amidst empty pizza boxes and dust bunnies, it's just that my Level isn't as high as is commonly acceptable.
Now as mentioned, there are life events that have escalated my Level of Cleanliness but it seems that in the last few months one of two things has happened.
a) My Level of Cleanliness has suddenly had a massive growth-spurt and I am finally hitting my post-adolescent need for clean (my Mum will be so relieved); or
b) There has been an on-going, almighty shit storm in and around my house that suddenly means that I am dealing with an unprecedented level of filth on our carpets and lino, resulting in the need for vigorous vacuuming.

I find it hard to believe that it's taken until my 30s to discover 'clean', so below I outline the Top 5 things that have come together to form the perfect floor maelstrom.

1. Cat fur.  This is not new, Albert has lived with us for over 5 years now.  In fact, we're down to one cat from two, so in theory there should be less cat fluff.  And it's winter so surely he wants all the fluff he can hold onto.  But I think the cat has formulated a cunning plan.  A silent protest if you will.  He is staging a fluff-in.  What is a fluff-in?  A fluff-in is Bertie objecting to the invasion of his domain by a two legged, grabby thing.  Namely Edie.  I think it's a domestic cat evolutionary development - they can shed at will just to really piss you off.

2. Bird Feathers and Mouse Poo.  Not content with restricting the protest to fur, Albert also brings in a stream of innocent small creatures.  This serves two purposes.  The first is to really piss me off by having to chase the creatures out, or pick up the remnants left in the hallway, or track down their petrified bodies behind appliances.  The second is to scare the creature into roaming around the house as much as possible, leaving their filth behind them (Bertie's probably dropping fur as this happens just get double coverage).  Yesterday I had two birds in the one day.  That was a lot of feathers.  There also may or may not be a rodent of some sort living under our dishwasher.  Or is it behind the entertainment centre? Either way, it's probably spreading filth on the floor.

3. Rice Crackers.  Why is it that snacks designed for babies and children are so freaking messy?  If you don't have kids, you've probably never seen a rice cracker half masticated and spat up again so let me tell you aaaall about about.  They are like gooey snot when they're still wet, all thick and gluggy.  Then when they dry they're like concrete.  So I stopped giving Edie those and buy her those little rice cake things.  Problem solved.  Though now I have a new problem.  These crackers crumble.  It's like she's worried she'll get lost from the kitchen to the bedroom so leaves a trail of rice crumbs.  On the plus side, I can always find her.

4. Paper.  Ah, kids and paper.  Today Edie got a late 1st birthday present.  It was lovely.  She barely registered what it was but she did clock the wrapping paper.  She almost burst out of her skin trying to bust free of the high chair so she could attack the paper.  She proceeded to tear said wrapping paper into a multitude of tiny paper pieces (perhaps she wants to wrap some small gifts for the mouse under the dishwasher?).  Let her at a circular, an old envelope, a magazine... anything that is paper, and she will destroy it.  She rips until the pieces are so small, it's not worth picking up by hand, the vacuum is needed.  We could make a nice nest for rats or gerbils at our house.

5. Onion Skins and Dirt (that one took you by surprise didn't it?).  At least that's what it was today but really I mean any number of things that you didn't intend for the floor but somehow ended up there.  Like the rolled oats I mentioned in Baking - an Expose.  Things that you foolishly leave somewhere small hands can reach.  Or maybe you knew they were in reach and you watched the small hands sprinkle the filth all over the house with gay abandon but were too apathetic about what was going on to disrupt their enjoyment.  Edie found the bucket of shallots that Phil had harvested from the garden.  It was about half full but a lot of the contents was dirt, onion skins, and other garden material.  Edie began by scattering the odd onion skin around the house (she kindly took some to our bedroom and left it beside our bed), then slowly extended her distribution until the whole bucket was upended and she was literally rolling in the dirt and shallots.  It looked quite fun actually so I left her to it.  But clearly I needed to address the chaos at some stage and in another Top Mum moment, left the vacuuming until she was over-tired and just followed me and the vacuum cleaner around the house grizzling, periodically lying in front of the machine like she was sacrificing herself to the gods of vacuuming.

I have not even begun to talk about all the 'things' that litter the filthy floor and must be picked up several times a day.

So really, I think it's clear that a quick vacuum every day is the least one could do with all this foulness around them.  And I don't even achieve that most days.  Sorry Mum (and Phil), it would seem I still have a very low Level of Cleanliness, it's just that I live in a whole lot more filth.

Edie in shallot and dirt nirvana

WTFF: Pastoral Pretty

Today I felt very smug about the fact that I bought local, whole produce and I actually made some sort of effort beyond picking up a product with a "locally grown" sticker at the supermarket.  Terry (of Meet the Foodies fame) and I took our kiddies and went for a drive out to a little dairy out by Port Chalmers (we even car pooled so I we can feel smug about being environmentally conscious).  I'll take some photos the next time I go as it's really very cute and worth a story of its own.  Plus Phil plans to make cheese with the milk I bought so hopefully that's story-worthy too.

But what has all this to do with What the Frock Friday?  Not much actually but I'm stretching it so it does.  The dress I'm wearing today is another Voon number, appropriately called the Meadow dress.  Get it?  Meadow, cows, milk, pasture... I'm really clever ay?  Ahem.  I actually think this dress is a perfect Spring dress - floral, short-sleeved, mid-length, wool.  All excellent things in Spring.  But it's not Spring, it's the middle of Winter.  The Winter Solstice actually.  So today I paired it with some tights (not my ideal tights/dress combo but they were what I had in the draw.  I mentioned the tights shortage in last week's WTFF), and a cute wool blazer just to make a little more Winter-friendly.

The Meadow dress.  This dress is a work horse (did you like that one Harriet & Sam??).  By this odd turn of phrase, I mean to tell you that I bring it out over and over again and I still love it, it's still in great nick, and it keeps looking good.  It's the dress that keeps on giving.  As mentioned, it's woolen so is perfect for Dunedin's chilly climes.  I like the innocence of it - the high scoop neck, the short sleeves, the mid-length skirt, and of course the demure satin bow at the neck.  I think it all suits the beautiful floral perfectly.  The colours in this dress have always appealed to me.  The coral red of the roses with the golden yellow flowers and deep blue background.  Classic colouring that works well on me (not that you can tell it by the time we took the photos at 6pm in our crap lighting).  As the wool has stretch, the dress is obviously fitted, but the texture and pattern of the material mean it's forgiving.

A much better representation of the material

The coat is also a Voon number (can you tell I loved that store??) and I'm pretty sure was called the Cotton Candy Jacket.  It also came in a fuschia pink and black too I think.  I always loved the classic cut of this blazer and the cute collar (it looks great done up).  And true to Sophie's impeccable styling it is adorned with gorgeous buttons.  Should this jacket ever give up the ghost (no sign of that yet) I will definitely be salvaging those buttons.  Sadly, this little jacket doesn't fit me as well as it once did and it's a bit big in places (it hasn't stretched, I have).  If I was to be picky, I would say that as a result, the shape of the jacket doesn't allow the shape of the dress to work it's magic.  Compare the pics with and without and decide for yourself.  However, I've always liked picking out the red in this dress and the jacket obviously does a great job.  Since that mustard colour has come back into fashion I've had a few more options with warm layers but I'm sticking with the demure jacket today - I think it fits my pastoral/fairy tale idea better.  It's like a Little Red Riding Hood outfit.  For an adult.  With no hood.  You know what I'm getting at...

Tights.  Don't want to bang on about it, but if I were to style this ideally, I would probably go for no tights (the Spring thing comes back again) as I feel it suits the simplicity of the dress more.  And failing that, I think block colour tights would be best so as not to detract from the pattern of the dress and also compliment the block colour of the other accessories.  But these tights will do today.

The shoes are an old I Love Billy pair that I have trashed but I love the colour and the pattern of the material.  With a skirt of this length, I would generally opt for heels of some sort to balance my proportions better but something in this dress often makes me head to my flats.  I think it's something to do with themes previously mentioned - youth, innocence, fairy tales...  Am I sounding a bit mental?  I sound like I've tried to pretend I'm 12 by putting on a flowery frock.  I hope you're following my thinking here.

My shoes and Edie's shoes (in case you thought I have a bound right foot)

Aaaand just to compound the issue, we'll move onto the hair ribbon. I put it in because, well, it's young, fresh, innocent... I'm not having a mid-life crisis I swear.  I went through a phase in my early 20s of wearing hair ribbons often.  I don't do it as much any more as my hair is short and I don't think my hair cut always works with a ribbon in (it's longer than it's been for ages).  Plus I can't be bothered.  I also harbour a fear that I will turn around and find out that I'm a 65 year old woman with loooong greying hair who wears hair ribbons.  It's just not right.  But I'm not there yet so today I went with a ribbon.

This dress is not the one to wear a necklace with (neckline and ribbon - don't need a necklace in there over-crowding things do we?) so today I added some earrings.  A good option also as the ribbon means they are seen a bit more.  These gorgeous specimens were given to me by my sister.  I have a feeling she bought them in Scotland.  And yes, they have real daisies in them.  Cute, huh?  And very in theme.

And there we have my Pastoral fantasy.  I just needed to be carrying some of the milk I bought today in pails, or taking a basket of baked goods to Grandma's house.  But that's all a little much when also carrying your child.

Today Edie was also wearing a dress meant for another season: Summer.  I'm not a totally neglectful parent, I did "Winter" it up for her.  The dress came from Pumpkin Patch and she wore it to Bianca's wedding and not again.  It was really a little too big for her at the wedding and there hasn't been another occasion since that I could bring it out for.  So if she was ever to wear it, I needed to do some serious layering.  I put her in a white long-sleeved onesie from Frugi and some white tights.  She has some cute little slipper mary janes from Pumpkin Patch also, so I put those on them picked up the red by giving her a red hair-clip and little flower brooch I made using red ribbon and some broderie anglaise (super easy - just used a gathering stitch around a long edge, pulled the cotton tight and voila - flower).
Of course she also had her ultimate accessory, her glasses.  I need to get some more purple things to match them.  Just bought her a cute pair of purple boots today so that's a start.

Edie and Charlotte - straight out of a fairy tale and onto your computer.

The Spectacular Unveiling: Top 5 Things I Have Learnt About Children and Glasses

Edie got her glasses today (it's only taken a month.  Geesh!) and so far, she's only pulled them off and biffed them across the room a couple of dozen times.  Not too bad.  She's yanked them off and bent them at odd angles another few dozen times, smeared banana on the lenses, and possibly made her first scratch in the 'scratch resistant' lenses, but what do expect from a one year old?

In positive news, she has also tried to put them back on herself at least twice.  Once she almost garroted herself but the other time she got them over her eyes.  They were just upside down.  Still, you could see she felt pretty pleased with her bad self.
Lesson to be taken from all this:

1. Glasses only make you look smart.

I am already having to do some deep breaths so I also don't hiff the glasses across the room.  Phil reckons we're going for the "do it so many times til it bores the shit out of her" approach.  She takes glasses off, we put glasses back on.  She takes glasses off, we put glasses back on.  And repeat.  Ad infinitum.
Lesson to be taken from this:

2. All advice about "never enter a battle of wills with your child" applies to everything except eyewear.

I caught myself saying, "Come here, Goggy" after she'd had the glasses for less than an hour.  Clearly this practice will have to cease if I am to have any hope of building my child's positive self-image.  Calling her or her glasses 'gogs' or 'goggy' may not be entirely constructive behaviour.  Also, other people may give me The Look that strangers give to people they believe are unfit parents.  I hate this look and wish to avoid the judgement of strangers where possible.
Lesson learnt from this:

3. Refer to glasses as... well... glasses.

In order to not only make neutral glasses references, but positive ones, I seem to be employing the "Awww... Pretty" Parenting Technique.  This is used when you are making your child wear something they don't want to.  If you have a boy, you may call it the "Awww... Handsome" Technique but either or.  I'm sure that if I tell her often enough, she will agree that her glasses are indeed pretty.  It would be helpful though if I stopped following this affirmation with snickering.  I know, you're all giving me The Look right now down your internet connections.  I'm not actually laughing at her because I think she doesn't look pretty with glasses, it's just that she looks so damn comically cute that I can't help myself.  But she doesn't understand this nuance so I shall have to be more careful with my reactions.
Lesson learnt from this:

4.  Be sincere in all positive affirmations and do not follow with guffaws, snickers, or any other behaviour that could be construed as undermining the positive feeling you just tried to engender.

Glasses cost a lot of money.  Did you know this?  I was vaguely aware of this but as I don't, nor ever have worn glasses (and the same can be said for Phil), I have never truly appreciated just how freakin' expensive they are.  Until today.  Also, I assumed there'd be some sort of tiered costing system.  Edie is approximately an eight of the size of an average adult, therefore her glasses would be an eighth of the cost, give or take a fraction or two.  Oh no, my fine friends, not so!  Being small is of no advantage when it comes to discounting glasses.  And if it is, Edie will be getting a part time job when she's 5 to start saving for the glasses she may need when she's 15.  So just how much were these little masterpieces of visual correction?  I won't give you the exact figure, but it was over $400 for these fine spec-imens.  The optometrist (who is lovely and in no way seems like a rip off artist, just in case you think we were had) assures me that these glasses should last her for a couple of years and they darn well better!  Given the treatment they have received today, I am nervous to say the least.
Lesson learnt from this:

5. Make sure my uterus forms the eyeballs of any subsequent children a lot better than it did last time round.  You're on notice, uterus.  There's a nasty alternative for malfunctioning uterus' (interesting plural...): it begins with 'h' and ends with 'ysterectomy'.  I'm sure as you seem to have done a fine job in all other aspects it won't come to this, but just so you know...


So apart from my 5 swiftly-learnt life lessons today, I'm feeling quite positive about the glasses.  The magnification is pretty big like we expected (having to seriously restrain myself from making Furby jokes here), and there will definitely be some struggles keeping them on, but she doesn't seem to hate them and neither do I.
She's my baby anyway - she'd make even the dorkiest gogs look cool.
Love you Edie xxxooo

Taken with Papa's iPhone at lunchtime

Miraculous Happenings

I made some vague excuse last week about being tardy with WTFF.  I also promised I would post photos of the vague excuse.  I'm going to do better than that, I'm going to write a whole post about it.

One of my besties, Harriet, had a wild and wonderful idea a few years ago to start a baby store in Dunedin.  There was a massive hole in the market here.  You could go to the Baby Factory for basics, or TNT if you wanted your child to be highly flammable, or Arthur Barnetts if you could get past the smell of old ladies and cona coffee, and that was about it.  The magical internet was available of course, but sometimes you just want to go into a store and buy something.  Harriet was working in an incredibly unsatisfying job where her fabulous ideas and talents were not appreciated.  In search of retail-salvation, she started a new job as Assistant Manager in a business that was just starting up in Dunedin.  Her manager was an affable young lady named Sam.  Sam and Harriet quickly discovered that they shared the dream of opening a decent children's store in Dunedin.  They also quickly discovered that they didn't hate each other's guts (quite rare for retail work colleagues) and actually, they could handle seeing each other day in, day out indefinitely.  And they could make sensible decisions that the other didn't completely disagree with.  Sounds like the recipe for a good marriage, doesn't it?  And it was - A business marriage.  Harriet & Sam bit the bullet, took the leap of faith, and other cliches, and started Miracle.

Opening morning - Sam and Harriet lacking sleep but still smiling!

That was four years ago.  They have, as one might expect from any new business, their fair share of ups and downs but the heart of the matter remains: they have a good business idea, and they have the brains to implement it.  And so it was that at the beginning of the year they found themselves in a temporary store.  It was a pretty big challenge that they weren't entirely expecting to face but like so many of these serendipitous twists and turns life throws you, it's been an awesome clarifier for them - an unexpected boon.  The change from a massive store space to a much smaller one has focussed their business objectives and allowed them to make some changes they had been wanting to make for a while, and also discover some new successes they didn't know existed.  And through their temporary store, the metaphoric door has opened to their new permanent location.

It was this location that we worked hard to pull together on Friday, ready for the grand opening on Saturday.  It's like moving house except it all happens in a tight time frame and then you have to be ready to have an open home the following morning.  It's pretty full on!  Thankfully they were only moving down the corridor this time, but there's still a lot to do when you move a whole store of stock.  Stress levels were fairly high, people were tired, there were up to 10 of us all trying to work in a small space, not including the various off-spring roaming around or screaming the house down... it was chaotic to put it mildly.

But shit these ladies are funny.  As the hours ticked by and the bags under the eyes started to get darker, the jokes became more and more inappropriate and the laughter turned to giggling and cackling (most females are prone to the odd cackle when they're overtired).  Most amazing of all, the shop started to look good.  Really good.  Despite all the bossing (thanks Micaela), dithering, screaming babies (what would a baby store be without them?), and generally flummoxing, we pulled it together.

The result is a store that looks like a a delicious cupcake - beautiful quality ingredients topped with lots of colourful sprinkles.  The quality shoes, the cloth nappies, the beautiful merino clothing, and then bowlfuls of bright toys, and puzzles.  These girls have always known what they wanted, they have known what they needed to do, and with the new store they have taken another step towards their retail dream.  It's so awesome to watch.  It seems other people agree.  When 10am rolled around on Saturday morning, Harriet and Sam had more than just lack of sleep to deal with, they had a queue down the street waiting for the doors to open.

I'm happy to say I'll be doing a little more than just watch their success as I am about rediscover my retail feet and be their Monday Girl.  They've also got me looking after some of their online content too so I am slowly wheedling my way into the business.  A little Miracle with jam and cream?  I think I like that combination.

www.miracle.net.nz

WTFF: Vintage Ombre

Friday was a busy day here.  I went and investigated a couple of at home carers for Edie (we'll save that for another post), and as I mentioned in my brief post, I went to help set up shop for my friends Harriet and Sam.  They run what has always been a beautiful children's wear store, Miracle, but it has recently undergone a bit of makeover which has culminated in a light and spacious new store.  It really does deserve to do well after all the love they have put into it.  In all the comings and goings I didn't take any photos but when the excitement of the opening weekend blows over, I'll get some to show you how lovely it is.

Anyway, I wanted to let you know that it was a day I could have easily forgone a frock.  Firstly I knew I'd be in and out of the car and in the houses of people with kids and I'd be wrestling with my own child, keeping her from stealing all the toys of others.  Secondly, I knew I was going to the store and there'd be moving and cleaning involved.  A dress was not the most practical thing to wear.  Thirdly, I didn't have time for a shower (too much information?) hence the pinned back hair and un-ironed dress.  But I decided that I was going to stay true to my cause and rock a frock.  And not just any old jersey-frock number, but a real pleats and flounces dress.  I am happy to report that when I arrived home at 11pm, my dress was still in one piece.  I barely even registered the dress "inconvenience" through the day - it wasn't an inconvenience at all.  So I take this as a lesson that frocks do rock and my excuses for not wearing them are not always valid.

So down to business: today's dress.

I bought this dress at a Vintage Clothing and Textile Fair in the Woman's Hall on Moray Place (Dunedin).  I actually went to the same fair again this morning and picked up a cute skirt for $10.  But I digress.  The dress was hanging on the wall and I eyed it as I wandered around the stalls.  Eventually I decided to ask the stall-holder if I could look at it.  She kindly informed me that I could, but the dress was pretty small.  I decided to walk away.  Why look at something I could never wear and just get dress-longing (you know what I'm talking about, I'm sure)?  But it kept calling to me so I went back and asked again.  It was a cold day and I was wearing a big puffer jacket and when I took it off the lady was able to better judge my size and we decided that it might actually fit.  And low and behold, it did.  Like a glove.  I promptly handed over the cash and walked out with a thing of beauty in my nappy bag.  It really does fit like a glove - as I said when I bought it, I can't ever gain a centimeter but it's totally worth it.  I wore it to Edie's 1st Birthday as it's such a party dress - full skirt, fitted bodice - but I decided that I wanted to see if I could turn it into a dress to be worn on any other day.  So I paired it with my brown boots (seen in WTFF: Parisian Chic) and a cardi, and left out the petticoat.  I think it was a success.

There are many things to love about this dress.  Firstly I was drawn to the changing hues in the material.  I called this post Vintage Ombre and it's not strictly ombre but I think you see where I got that idea.  None of the colours in the dress are any that I wear normally, but they are just so... appealing.  Like a delicious apricoty peachy dessert.  I love the paneling around the waist.  Each panel is about 2 inches wide so it has about 15 individual panels around the middle of the dress.  A lot of work went into making that dress.  Full skirts: I love them.  My mum sewed a petticoat with a tulle layer years ago as part of a costume for her.  The petticoat has seen many reincarnations but is now a staple in my wardrobe for just such a full skirt.  As I said, I ditched the petticoat today to make it more of a day dress and you are still able to appreciate the shape of the skirt as it has so much material.  The neckline of this dress is quite unusual - a wide v with a binding in the same material.  I don't think I've seen many other garments with this style.  I love the buttons down the bust - they pick up the cream in the material beautifully.
This style of dress is perfect for people who are bigger round the hips/bum/thigh area as those parts fall under the skirt of the dress.  You don't have to be small-waisted as the flair of the skirt means that the part above the flair (the waist) looks small.  Of course if you are small-waisted, it adds to the effect.  50s dresses are generally a flattering shape for most bodies, in my opinion, as their bodices come in such a variety you can find one to suit you, and the skirt works on almost anyone.

The cardigan I bought at a shop in Queenstown a couple of years ago.  Unfortunately I can't remember the name.  I would love to go back there.  It was a shop run by a lady who also did image consulting so she was incredibly helpful in the store.  I think this cardi cost me about $40 which is a bargain in my book.  It's not wool but still makes a great warmer layer.  I find long cardis don't often work well for me for a couple of reasons (short legs, curvy hips...), but I just need to wear them the right way and they're fine.

I've already told you about my boots.  Read here if you'd like to know more.   As I mentioned I wore them to "dress down" my frock.  I also have a cool pair of white leather brogue-type shoes that I considered wearing but it was cold and I have a dearth of tights at the moment, so boots it was.

The earrings are my wedding earrings - pearls my sister and I chose a day or two before the wedding.  They are very simple but I love that.  My gorgeous wedding dress (I will definitely write a post about that one day) was beaded and so I didn't want elaborate jewellery.  I wear these earrings all the time.

Yesterday was pretty miserable day, weather wise, so I ended up dressed like this for a large part of the day!  The hat I got through a friend of mine, Shannon, who was living in Dunedin for a year while she studied.  She now lives back in her homeland, Canada.  Last I heard, she was teaching in a remote part of Canada with a mostly Inuit population.  I should get back in touch with her because she made me laugh and I just know she's leading an interesting life.  Anyway, a friend of hers was making the hats and I like this one.  I love hats and one of the great things about living somewhere cold is that you get more chance to wear them.  They do make your hair look funny, which is not so cool.  I kind of get this "pressed" look on the top of my head and then curls springing out from underneath.  It's not flash.  But as long as you leave the hat on your head, you're fine.

The cool coat I bought at a store in Dunedin, Halo, which has since closed down.  But the brand of the jacket is Augustine which still exists and I have another coat of theirs, plus a couple of dresses.  Good stuff.  I was obviously drawn to the colour of this coat (I fight against making everything black just because it's "practical".  BORING!) but I also love the big buttons, the pockets, the swing cut, and just to make it extra awesome, the hood.  I will be sad the day it gives up the good fight.  I loved the bright pink with the apricot pudding colours - clashing but cool.  You wouldn't miss me coming down the street! I thought the length of the coat allowed the skirt to still be seen too so that's an added bonus.  You don't want to put on a frock then cover the whole thing up so no one can appreciate it!

Albert keen to get in on the action

And now some notes on Edie's frock.  It's not Aunty Natalie today.  It's Aunty Wen.  She is my brother's wife and I love getting parcels of clothes and other goodies from her and her mother as they're a treasure trove of coolness.  Wenjun is originally from China so she gets packages and pass-ons from relatives there and Chinese relatives here in New Zealand.  This can go in many directions - you may get beautiful and unusual things that are unique and special, or you get crazy stuff that is weird and wonderful and it's not even clear what it's supposed to be used for.  Wen has lived in New Zealand long enough to know the difference and so if you get the crazy stuff, she's normally sending it so you can appreciate the craziness, not make it a staple in your wardrobe.  It's win-win.  This dress wasn't from China.  Well, it probably was, but it went to Albany on it's way.  It's a Cotton-On Kids number.  That place is awesome for basics and the odd gem like this cute wee dress.  The cardi is from Aunty Natalie.  It's a Boden item and Edie's worn it to death.  I love the 'swing' shape of it - so cute on little girls.  The tights are also from Aunty Natalie and were sent to go with the dress Edie wore last week so they're Marks & Spencer.  The hair clip is also making a repeat appearance from last week (Jane, that's a mention two weeks in a row).  The shoes are See Kai Run and they are fantastic.  Harriet and Sam sell them at Miracle and I can't say enough about them.  They are podiatrist-approved for little feet and tick all the "I'm being a Top Mum and doing the right thing by my child" boxes, but still look freakin' cute.  Edie has two pairs but her See Kai Run shoe wardrobe is soon to be expanding...

You can appreciate why I wanted to save the awesomeness of this outfit for a Saturday morning when I could dedicate the proper time due to writing about such a lovely frock instead of slapping up a couple of pics at midnight on Friday.  I hope you can forgive my tardiness and enjoy the frockin' wonder that is Vintage Ombre.