Thursday 24 May 2012

The Kid With The Gippy Eye

A while back, Phil and I noticed that Edie had a gippy eye (scientific term).  For those of you not familiar with my technical explanation, I mean that her eye seemed to wander inward from time to time.  Quite a lot actually.  And both eyes.  After we made many jokes at her expense (Top Parents) we decided we should get it checked out so went to the GP.  She looked at Edie's eyes, told us they looked healthy and there was nothing sinster lurking in the background, but that she would refer us to the hospital for an assessment.  Three years later, we got an appointment.  Ok it clearly wasn't 3 years later but the public health system is hardly the most well-oiled of machines.  We got an appointment nearly 3 months later.  In the mean time, Edie continued to look gippy but it actually lessened a wee bit so we lowered our concern from Defcon 3 to Defcon 5.  Of course we still paid her out about it quite a lot in front of her friends but she's wee, she doesn't know.  Granted, she will  know when she's 15 but it's funny to watch them squirm by that age.  Kidding.  Sort of.

Our appointment finally rolled around on Monday and we were at the hospital for a fair chunk of time (is there any other kind of hospital visit?).  They put in those funky eye drops that dilate your pupils so they could examine her eyes properly.  We felt like really top parents for the rest of the day, carrying around a baby that looked like she'd just dropped an e on the way to a mid-morning rave.  On the plus side, it was quite pretty, like one of those weird 70s caricatures of children.


But I digress (who me?!)...  The opthamologist examined Edie's eyes with a set of lenses which looked like something that belonged in a museum of quaint medical equipment from the 19th Century.  My stoner child was remarkably still during this process - more in those drops than they care to admit?  Fairly quickly, the doctor said something like, "I can see a reasonable amount of long-sightedness;  Quite marked for such a young age".  Phil had his Daddy ears on and took this to mean "Your child can see a long way - well done for creating such an advanced specimen!" so when the doctor concluded a minute or two later by announcing that Edie would need glasses, his face fell.

Allow me to tell you a little about how Phil and I see the world for any offspring of ours.  We ain't no oil paintings.  Either of us.  This isn't a desperate cry for our friends and family to say "Pish tosh! [that's the way all our friends and family speak]  You are just fine and dandy!".  We know we're not totally fugly, but we're not going to win any beauty contests.  Although we do wish for world peace.  It's always been a running joke between us that any child of ours will be the child with "personality" which is just as well because it won't get there on looks.  Up until now, it really has mostly been a joke but it's been interesting to be now confronted with a child who has a wandering eye, or has to wear glasses.

I'm not going to pretend that I now I have a child with a serious health issue.  Believe me, I fully appreciate that in the grand scheme of things, we are incredibly lucky to have a child as happy and healthy as Edie is.  It's more that it's clear that our wee baby has something extra to deal with in life.  Maybe only for a few years, but maybe for a lot more than a few.  If you asked people if they thought children, especially little ones, with glasses are cute, I think most would say yes.  I also think that if you asked kids if they thought children who wear glasses are dorky, most would say no.  So what is our problem?  I guess we must think that kids with glasses are dorky, or not cute?!  I don't feel like that's true.  I think it's more likely we are harbouring this irrational fear that some nameless, faceless stranger will be mean to our little girl, or that someone will pass over her in some way because she doesn't look pretty.  Lame, but there you have it.

So let's turn this frown upside down and think of hot and wildly successful people who wear glasses!  I have actually found a blog dedicated to the topic of glasses, Miss Speculiar (the internet is a fascinating place) and I got some of my ideas below from there.

Daniel Vettori.  Part Italian, top sportsman, pretty spunky, and a spokesman for a brand of glasses.  A good way to kick off our list.


Pretty much the most talked about man in Hollywood in terms of spunkiness AND acting chops: Ryan Gosling.  And he wears glasses.

Modelling for www.glassesdirect.co.uk

Gok Wan is bigger than Trinny & Susannah these days when it comes to styling and taste.  And he even has his own line of frames.

Image from Celebs101.com

And now for some bespectacular ladies....

Tina Fey.  Brains and beauty.  Plus she's bloody funny.  I can see Edie being this kind of glasses girl...

Image from www.thegloss.com


Not just for the intellectual lady - possibly the world's most famous sex symbol.  Naughty librarian anyone?



There, I feel much better!  So Edie, four eyes can be better than two.  You rock that look baby!
Love Mummy (and Daddy)

11 comments:

  1. So hilarious...( not that Edie has to wear glasses).. but this post is friggen hilarious Charly. Edie will be a spunk with glasses. It will give her even more justification to be the girl with the awesome personality. x... BTW... fugly?! FUGLY?!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Is that not a term you've come across Aja? I didn't make it up, that's for sure. Or are you referring to the fact that I said I *wasn't* fugly and you think that may have been a bit presumptuous? :o)

      Delete
  2. um, Rose of Tralee? Just saying

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh no Mile, that's a contest for "lovely gurls" or so the tagline goes; girls with personality. It helps if they don't appear to have been in some massively disfiguring accident. I entered with braces, Edie can enter with glasses if she so desires.

      Delete
  3. Rolling on the floor in hysterics! Edie will totally rock a funky pair of frames! She'll be the kid that others are stealing the 3d glasses from the cinema just so they can look like her, but with way less pizzazz! Tell Phil that Edie has X-ray vision and it's something the optometrist can't pick up, he'll feel like super dad! Xxx

    ReplyDelete
  4. Loving your blog Charlotte :-) And totally get the anxiety of having kids with something that's not 'normal'. Liam and Declan both have severe food allergies (life threatening in Liam's case). But to look at them they're perfectly 'normal' gorgeous kids. It's been causing a few issues at school for Liam though with his friends, so I totally get where you're coming from with worrying about the future. You just cross that bridge when you come to it though right :-) Hope you find some rockin face furniture for Edie!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Replies
    1. Anyway by the time Edie's 10 laser surgery will be like 50 bucks and you'll be able to administer it yourself, so if she doesn't like glasses then hey ho

      Delete
  6. A very one eyed Nana thinks the kid with the gippy eye will not turn her pretty little head about becoming even more spectacular than she already is!

    ReplyDelete
  7. I really love this font- but the exclamation marks really don't cut it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'll email you a pic of the blog as it should look. Tell me if that's the font you are seeing as some people seem to see something odd. But the correct font does have crap exclamation marks.

      Delete